Give me my coffee, now.

I’m a Tim Horton’s junkie. Actually, to be accurate, I’m a coffee junkie. Ever see a man go through twelve cups of coffee on a Saturday morning? It’s not for the weak of heart I promise you. Although S and I try our best to save a couple bucks by brewing up our morning coffee at home, we’ve got a wedding to plan for people, I still fall prey to occasional java buying jags. Timmy’s ‘Roll up the Rim to Win’ campaign usually provides me with an annual excuse to fall off the wagon.

Unfortunately, coming back to Tim’s also provides me with frequent Hulk-like bursts of rage, complete with clothes tearing and gnashing of teeth.

The problem is that there is no convenient Tim’s location for me to get my fix. The closest outlet is a block away and tucked inside a convenience store in a busy downtown gas station.

It’s more of Tim’s-lite really. They do coffee, some bagels, a donut or two. But they only have two tills and a workspace smaller than my bathroom, so they aren’t very good at getting things done quickly under ideal circumstances. And if they ever have to deal with a large order the places fills up almost instantly and you can almost guarantee you’re going to be late to work that morning.

(By contrast there is a full service Second Cup across the road that is always deserted. Seriously no one ever goes into that place)

And it is then that the rage overtakes me. I live in a world where I demand instant satisfaction of my caffeine cravings. I go nearly ballistic with anger if I have to spend more than five minutes waiting for my morning coffee. The service in this place is horrible, through no fault of their own, but because they’ve got a customer demand for their product that can’t properly be met by the reduced circumstances of their location. If you had a packed store each and every day would you not think that opening up a bigger store so you can serve more people is the way to go? I watch people get out of the coffee line every day because they simply can’t afford to wait any longer. These are willing customers who want to give you their hard earned money. For the love of me I cannot figure out why Tim’s doesn’t expand this location. I know the area, I know there is retail space available.

If you see a cop in line at this Tim’s you can add ten minutes to your wait. They’re usually picking up a couple rounds for their buddies at the station. See a construction worker in line, add twenty minutes, easy. I’ve seen construction workers and city employees show up with milk crates in tow because they’re buying a ridiculous amount of coffee and bagels. But I go through this song and dance every time. I bitch, I moan and I still dutifully put in my time in the line.

Because Tim Horton’s is worth that much to me. I don’t know what it is they put in their coffee, my suspicion is crack cocaine. All coffees are not created equal. And while I may have a rep as a coffee snob I have found no greater coffee exists than a large Tim’s double-double.