These aren't a few of my favourite things

It’s getting close to the big day and the topic that most people seem to be wondering about is if I’m nervous or stressed yet.

Um. With a couple exceptions the answer is no.

Marriage itself? Well I wouldn’t have asked in the first place if I didn’t want it.

Planning the wedding? I’ve organized enough film shoots, stage plays, and last years award show for work, to be comfortable enough with the logistics of planning this kind of thing. It’s never fun but I don’t find it particularly stressful either. The basics are pretty much the same.

Full disclosure: S is the lead planner for this event. I’m pot scrubber and chief bottle washer, throwing out opinions left, right and center, but essentially (unsuccessfully) trying to keep myself from getting in the way of her planning.

We’ve also been fairly lucky that our family and friends have been there to lend a hand when they can and so far nobody has made any outrageous requests of us.

No, the most stressful part of the wedding planning has been some guests.

Early on we adopted a no-children policy for the reception. Kids are absolutely welcome to attend the ceremony but we wanted to give people a more adult wedding reception. S and I have both been to weddings where parents spent the majority of their time chasing after screaming children and then have to leave early to get the kiddies to bed. We wanted to avoid that aspect of it all.

With a couple rare exceptions most people seem to be support this choice. Unfortunately the exceptions have been notable in their declaration of abstentia, making us fully aware that it is our policy that is keeping them away. This can be a bit tough to take. Of course we’d like to have them attend. And we absolutely understand their reasons for not being able to come.

It’s the ripple effects that bother me. Couple A chooses not to attend, so they put pressure on Couple B to pass up on the reception as well, in a show of support. They’re trying to make us feel crappy about our decision. The people close to you always know which buttons to push to get a reaction.

There are other political games that we have to play. The seating chart was one of them, dealing with personality conflicts between groups of friends another. Hey, just because they’re your friend, doesn’t mean they have to like, tolerate or make nice with each other.

It’d be nice to think that the world would shelve their personal problems for a day in order to celebrate our wedding. But unfortunately it doesn’t really work like that. It’s the rare human being who is able to rise above it all when the circumstances aren’t to their liking.