Six sentence comic book reviews

It’s a well known fact that the Internet produces 67 pounds of unadulterated crap daily.

Which, when you think about it, is actually a lot less than you’d expect.

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls of all ages….I bring you, six sentence comic book reviews.

Let’s do this.

Trinity #5
Walking Dead #50
Batman #678
Rann\Thanagar: Holy War #3
Astonishing X-Men #25
Dark Tower: The Long Road Home #5

Rann\Thanagar: Holy War #3

Droppity, drop, drop-drop, drop-drop-drop. Sorry but this title just isn’t doing it for me anymore. I only started reading it because it combined many of the more interesting spaced-based series and miniseries (Adam Strange, Mystery in Space, 52) from the past few years. But after realizing it was a chore to have to sit down and actually read this issue I knew it was time to cut the cord. Jim Starlin’s story is so-so and Ron Lim’s art is…passable. But reading the space adventures of DC’s C-list heroes just shouldn’t be this dull.

Batman #678

I’m loving Morrison’s Batman because it’s so against formula. I generally wouldn’t touch a solo Bat-title for love or money. He’s grim, gritty and solves crime, I get it already. But Morrison’s Silver Age labyrinthine mind games and disjointed storytelling techniques are so different from standard spandex superhero stories that they force me to raise my game as a reader and I dig that. In this issue the Club of Villains continue their assault on Bats and company by shooting him up with weapons grade crystal meth and dumping him on the streets. It’s an interesting little story that is regrettably hamstrung by the lack of a big name artist.

Astonishing X-Men #25

Where Morrison tends to enslave characters to the needs of his ‘big story idea’ Ellis takes a different tack, placing the ‘big story idea’ firmly in the background and focusing on how the threat impacts a story’s characters and their relationships. That’s what this issue of CSI: San Francisco is all about. The X-Men are asked to consult on the death of a suspected mutant. But all that really happens is that Ellis spends the entire issue introducing his version of the X-men lineup and (re)establishing their relationships with each other. Simone Bianchi’s art isn’t really my thing. I think he makes an interesting cover artist but his interior work is flat and generally unappealing to me.

Walking Dead #50

A fantastically well written epic character piece set in the background of a zombie apocalypse, what’s not to like? This issue was a fantastic coda, dealing with Carl’s repressed emotions and inner turmoil stemming from recent WD events. For a young boy living in a world where death is an everyday fact of life we’re shown that almost anything can become commonplace, even zombies. Robert Kirkman has done an excellent job giving readers a chance to adjust to the new status quo and allow his characters a similar opportunity to mature and grow. I strongly suspect that with the next issue we’ll see the titles remaining disparate characters, and possibly some new faces, begin to reappear. I can’t wait.

Now go away and leave an old man in peace. You’ve got what you wanted from me you dirty bastards.