Ch-ch-ch changes...

Trust and confidence are sticky widgets.

I’ve played on enough Frisbee teams where everybody studiously avoids throwing to the newbie because they don’t know the skill level of the new person. And let me tell you, when that new person is you, it sucks. In most cases these new fish have the skills, but when they’re never given an opportunity to showcase them it weakens the team (unable to make proper use of all players on the field) and it’s fairly insulting to odd wo\man out. And sometimes the situation gets proportionally worse, the longer you don’t pass to person X, the more the habit of avoiding them altogether gets reinforced.

S has frequently run into another problem, co-ed teams that don’t throw to their women. You want to piss my wife off? Charge her a hundred bucks to your join your team, then imply she’s not good enough to play on it. I recommend you duck and cover or find a good burn unit. Sexism is alive and well my friends.

Unfortunately I’ve run into a situation at work that has shaken up my neat little kingdom. Recently my office hired another person, with the same job title as me. It’s a move that was long overdue. The department was originally staffed by three people, but for the last 4-6 months the only person holding down the fort was me. I’m competent, not Superman. I needed the assist.

During that solo time period what I did was build up a system that worked really well for me. Now someone else has been added to the mix, the system is being disrupted…and I’m not handling it all that well.

I don’t loathe change. I just loathe it when its not on my own terms.

Part of the problem is she’s really smart and good at her job. So part of me feels threatened. She also knows my manager socially. So they have a bond there that excludes me. As such, he tends to trust her and rely on her. A couple times now I’ve attempted to tell my manager why something, that was poorly worded, needed to be fixed. He resisted my suggestion until, independently, new staffer brought the same issues to his attention, which he then fixed. So, in my eye he either trusts her more, or trusts me less. (A third option, more nuanced, but less satisfying, is that he simply recognized the need to make the change after two separate people brought the issue to his attention)

To me there’s a loss of prestige (king of the hill!) and a suggestion that my opinions\abilities aren’t quite as valuable as I thought they were. It’s been difficult to part with some of my responsibilities and have to include another opinion in something where I’ve had much more independent discretion.

Honestly, I don’t like it. (Forehead. Hand. Duh!) It’s much easier to be a team player when there’s always been a team. It’s a lot harder to willingly accept a forced partnership when you’ve traditionally been the lone wolf. (Think Will Ferrell in Anchorman)

I don’t know what the future will hold for me and how I will deal with the evolving nature of my job. But it continues to kindle the need in me to be my own boss and work under my own terms. Only, until I finish my PR certificate, there’s a great case for staying where I am just a little longer.