Wednesday, January 15, 2014

A letter to my daughter on the occasion of her fourth birthday

Claire

Four years old. I can hardly believe it. Cliches aside, it seems like last week I was either changing your diapers, or getting up with you in the middle of the night or helping you dress yourself.

Nowdays if I even suggest an alternative out for you to wear for the day I know that I’m setting myself up for a battle royale. You’ve got a temper and you’re stubborn as hell Roo, but look at your parents and take comfort in knowing that you come by it honestly.

The last two months have been more challenging than most. Your new brother Nathan is taking up a lot of our attention and it seems like all the hard fought real estate your mother and I have conquered over the past four years is in danger of slipping away. (Going to bed at a decent time? Forget about it.)

But out of all the barely controlled chaos that comes with a new arrival to the family YOU have emerged as the best big sister ever. You’re always there to try and soothe Nathan when he’s upset and you’re always the first one to try and do something to help when Mommy and Daddy are overloaded. I know that in months before Nathan arrived we were nervous about what a new baby would do to the family dynamic. We didn’t want you to feel left out or overlooked  so we worked hard to make sure you were a part of everything to do with the preparation. We needn’t have wasted the energy sweating. If anything you love Nathan TOO much. (Rule one of babies Roo, if they’re sleeping you don’t need to wake them up)

But you’ve been a real trooper when it comes to sharing your toys, I think watching you give up your cherished Poo Bear to a teary younger brother is perhaps the greatest display of affection you could do at this age. I’m sure you’ll be less generous as Nathan gets bigger and starts staking his own claim on toys, but nevertheless its nice to see you sharing.

In the past year you’ve taken up skating and you’re getting progressively better at it. I’m trying to walk the tightrope of encouraging you to push your limits and having fun. I think right now it’s more of a chore for you than it is fun but we’re getting closer to perfecting the ratio. But watching you zip around the ice on your skates now its hard to believe that last year at this time you couldn’t even stand up. I even bought a pair of skates myself so I could go skating with you on the weekend.  I’m absolutely terrible at it, I can’t stop but rather glide to a halt or make an abrupt turn to shed all my momentum. Thankfully I’m still faster than you, although I’m sure that will change. Next year I’m hoping we can get you into hockey. (Fingers crossed)

We did soccer with you this summer. It was a bit of a bust as the class was pretty evenly split between younger and older kids and most of the younger kids spent their time clutching their parents or wandering around the field, which meant there wasn’t all that much time for soccer. You did play a couple of mini games at the end, so it wasn’t a total washout. I think we’re going to try again this summer and hopefully a year’s worth of growing means you’ll get to play more games.

You’ve become an AMAZING swimmer. Last summer you had to be coaxed to jump in the water now, if we’re not careful, you’ll jump right off the dock without anyone to catch you. You passed your first level in swimming and you’re a hair’s breadth away from getting your second badge. (We just have to get you keep your head down when you dive into the pool from the side)

You love arts and crafts, especially stickers and paint.

You know all your letters and flipping through your books but you can’t read yet. Learning your letters has been tricky because you didn’t much enjoy doing it. So oftentimes you’d say you didn’t know what the letters were in the hopes that it meant you didn’t have to sit still and learn with us.

Your mom and I have decided that we’re going to spend more time with you over the next couple of months helping you read. You’ve got a couple words under your belt, but for the most part you’re content to look at the pictures and have mommy and I read to you.

You’re a fierce, stubborn, loving, multifaceted little girl who teaches me something new every day. Every time I think I get a handle on who you are you reveal some other part of yourself that makes me realize, even at age 4, just how complex and nuanced you really are.

Now that you’re older I can look back at some of the highlights over the past four years and get a little maudlin about some of the highlights or firsts that can’t be repeated. Your mother likes to joke about ‘Cats in the Cradle’ but there’s a grain of truth there. There will never be enough time, enough moments and enough laughter for me to share with you. They seem to come and go so quickly and sometimes you don’t realize how special something is until it passes. But I promise I will do my best to treasure every moment as it arrives…even when you fight me tooth and nail on something.

Love

Daddy

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