Break time is O-VAH!

And so, I’m back…from outer space.

Still getting acclimatized to my looming work deadlines and overflowing inbox.

Will this picture suffice, with the promise of more interesting blog type material to come?

Let me know.

Dear Amanda Palmer

I wish I could see you play at your latest concert.

I like your music an awful lot and unfortunately I missed you on your last tour through town.

But I'm getting married and that means I'll be very busy that night.

I know you'll understand, because you seem pretty cool like that. But I just wanted you to know anyway.

But I'll see you next time you play.

That's a promise

Last comic standing

Poor Sean Cullen.

Kicked off Last comic standing. Admittedly, I didn't find his material to be the funniest of all the contestants.

But I do think he's funny nonetheless and you gotta root for the hometown boy.

So congrats on getting as far as you did Sean and I'm sorry you couldn't make it further.

Packing for Honeymoon

A rough list. I want to keep it small, I hate having to lug around to much stuff. It just seems wasteful to spend all that time and money carting clothes back and forth across the ocean.

Unlike Ireland I'm doubting I'll be purchasing too many clothes.

Shorts (2 pair?)
T-Shirts (4 pair?)
Long sleeve\ button up shirts (2 pair?)
Pants (1 pair)
Jeans (1 pair)
Bathing Suit
Socks
Underwear
Sandals
Good shoes
Running shoes (I don’t really want to bring 3 pairs of shoes)

Sometimes you feel like a nut,

Taw-rana.

If you noticed a bitter scent in the air last night it’s probably because the nuts were out in full force.

I was walking up Queen West to pick up some dinner for S and I when I came across a little tiff between a bicyclist and a car driver, who’d nearly had a collision with each other.

Both were fine, but a largish crowd had gathered to watch the sparks fly between the two combatants.

The cyclist was gamely trying to explain what had happened to the slack-jawed rubberneckers, such as myself, while the dick in the car was calling the cyclist, and anyone else who attempted to step in, a p@ssy. From what I could tell the car had apparently gotten a little to close to the biker and nearly run him into a parked car. Having biked that narrow stretch of road lots of times, I fully understand that danger.

The crowd was nearly as colourful as the shouting match, throwing in their two cents and trying to instigate some sort of showdown between the two of them, you could tell that more than a few onlookers were hoping for a physical confrontation.

Anyway, I didn’t see who did what, so I can’t lay blame at anyone’s feet. But I will say that the driver of the car didn’t seem too interested in any sort of a balanced conversation. He was quite content to just rage at the world in general.

With the heat wave that’s supposed to be rolling through town just in time for the annual Toronto Caribana Festival I suspect that these kinds of fiery confrontations are going to become commonplace over the next couple of days.

Which is precisely why I’m blowing this popsicle stand.

Your honour, I’d like to enter a plea of ‘boys will be boys’.

Edited for the reading pleasure of those with delicate sensibilities. More quotes to potentially come as bachelor party participants sober up and reluctantly return to their computers.

1. My (censored) glowed in the dark.
2. Hello there little boys
3. No running shoes, no sandals, no running shoes, no running shoes ...
4. Let’s go easy tonight so that Saturday can be the real bender.
5. There are only so many back-to-back episodes of “Hannah Montana” that a person can take this early in the morning.
6. One more person get in the cab.
7. That tomato looks like (censored).
8. Shoe, Jeans, Deals, Deals!
9. Senor Pic-canty
10. I’ll never look at a spoon the same way again
11. Stay thirsty my friends
12. Man, Tele-Latino has some crazy stuff on Saturday night.
13. The Casino Niagara Theme Song (BA-daaaaaaa, ba-DAaaaaaaa…)
14. Awwww, man, I just took her head clean off
15. dudedudedudedudedudedudedudedude
16. Here come the meat sweats.
17. I may not know you by Tim Hortons.
18. Why are there two shower heads?

Bachelor Party: Wrap up

Now that was a bachelor party.

Unfortunately, except for a few rare nuggets, the details of said party shall be forever lost in the mists of time. (What happens in the Falls, stays in the Falls)

But I think I can wrangle up a couple photos, a 'best of' quote list and maybe even a video or two.
Suffice to say that over the course of 72 hours I have never played so many cards, drank, smoked, and engaged in all manner of unhealthy activities that will probably plague me physically and mentally in the years to come, as I did this weekend.

Now to restart my kidneys and my brain.